Nov 12
young woman running outdoors in a city park on a cold fall/winte

Stuck without knowing why – habits that sabotage us

Sometimes it happens. We try harder and harder to get the result we want, with no success. Actually, if we are really honest, we are not even close. When we try to understand why, we do not find the cause. Many of us get stuck in this early phase: we do not accept to get the responsibility of our goals and therefore we are forever stuck in a limbo of disappointed expectation. Others have the courage to go further, knowing that, somehow, if we do not accept responsibility for our actions, we will not get far.


On the other hand we are used to looking for very visible causes, within specific events. So if we deliver a project on the last minute and quality is mediocre, we will give responsibility to our colleague that did not give us on time the report we needed. The bravest among us will realize that they actually did not give importance to a part of the project that needed pour full attention. This, we think, is the reason, together with the external interferences we had. It may be true: but if we deliver our project on the last minute, or even late, with low quality, all the time – so if this becomes a routine behaviour – we need to dig deeper to find the real cause. We need to forget for a moment single events and look for routine behavioural patterns: we call people on the very last minute to help us when they are no available anymore or we do not check that they should deliver something on time or we are not able to communicate goals clearly.


If we often make the same mistake, or if we struggle to reach a goal, even though we changed strategies many times, it means that some of our habits are getting us stuck. Habits are automatic and therefore invisible – to find them we need to look of behavioural patterns, not single events. When we find ourselves, once again , in a critical situation, we need to ask ourselves: has it happened in the past? Have I already behaved in this way? Even when the reason seems external – for instance, my co-worker delivers a low-quality project – we need to wonder: if everybody does the same with me, is it really possible that everyone, but me, are sloppy or maybe I am not able to clarify what I need?
Behavioural patterns lead to extraordinary results and those that get us stuck in mediocrity. Without us realizing it.

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